she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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