FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
