your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
