I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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