I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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