And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My life is pants optional.
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