So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
