so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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