Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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