Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
