can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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