No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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