it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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