i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
