Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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