So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
