It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Panties = found
Randomize
