I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
