So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
