I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
