remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
