did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
