I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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