we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
