He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
