What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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