He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
