He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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