need another drink. this is the easiest way
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
