no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
