Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
