Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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