i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this beer tastes like vomit already
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
