u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
