ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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