I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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