I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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