that's an acceptable place to lick
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
