We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
