is your mom at the bar?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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