Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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