I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
