You really coming over, don't trick.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
