I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
