We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
