I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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