is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
