Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
