I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
