when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
