I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
