why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
