Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize