Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize