Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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