Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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