We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
