My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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